Five months ago, I arrived in Italy...five months from now, I'll be leaving Italy. When thinking about all that has happened in these past five months, it seems like such a long time. But then I remember playing spoons in New York with a bunch of kids I had just met or meeting my host family for the first time in Lecce and it feels as if the last five months have flown by. I have officially reached the halfway point in my exchange and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I am definitely happy to be in Italy, experiencing all these new and different things. I have done things here that I never thought I would be able to say I had done. I've met people from so many different cultures. I myself have grown as a person, looking at life with a slightly slanted perspective than from before. I have been immersed in this completely new culture for five months and it has become my norm. I find eating dinner at 8:30 p.m. to be extremely early. You think -20 with five feet of snow is cold? Try 50 with wind and rain. I now answer the telephone with the name of the person calling, rather than "hello?". My entire world changed so much in the matter of just a few hours that I was forced to accept everything different without any negative outlooks. Thinking back on my first few weeks here, I realize how much of an awkward 'child' I was. Because of the language barrier, it was extremely difficult to state my opinion or express my thoughts. I was similar to a child, having to point at something or describe it with a few words and actions and hope that the adults in my life understood what I needed. After five months, I am finally grasping the language and am able to say almost anything that I need to say. Although I make many mistakes and don't always use the right words, people understand me which makes me happier than one might believe.
I'm going to be fairly honest right now, just for any future exchange students who might be reading this. Before I left for Italy, I was expecting to have the year of my life. I thought it was always going to be a blast, with little to no problems and everybody accepting of me. While this has definitely been the year of my life so far, it has been anything but easy. I've experienced so many difficult things which have tested my strength and emotions beyond belief. I've come close so many times to giving up because of events that have happened here. It has been the most difficult thing that I have ever gone through and maybe ever will go through. However, with the support of a few close friends and family here in Italy, and with the support of my friends and family back home, I was able to keep pushing through and I never gave up. Now, I can finally say I'm happy. I've got a fantastic host sister who I love dearly and trust with my life, and I also have the best friend in the world who is always there for me and I can talk to about anything. The thought of leaving, and especially leaving these two extremely important people in my life, kills me inside. As much as I miss home, I've made a life for myself here in Italy and I've gone through so much to get to this point. I am constantly torn between missing home and hoping the time flies by, but also feeling guilty for wanting to leave because in reality, I don't want to leave. I want to stay in Italy forever, but five months will just have to do.
Un baccio.
Alison
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